i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
