ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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