is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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