I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my shit smells like andre
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
