It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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