i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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