guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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