She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
