I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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