Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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