just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize