dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
