why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I see more hoeing in ur future
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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