I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
