I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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