i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
