okay pat passed out under dana's car
well most of my day revolves around power hour
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
