Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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