I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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