I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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