I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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