grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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