so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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