Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize