Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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