I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
