If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
