My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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