so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
