I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
