We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
