what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
