Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
