She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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