Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
