he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
