i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
