everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
