dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
