How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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