I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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