My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
