meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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