So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
