I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
