Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
