I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
