So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
