great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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