So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
