You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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