Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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