I'm going to jail i love you
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
