tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
