Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think my moral compass just broke
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