Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
