I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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