Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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