Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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