how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
