i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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