the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
