Pants 0. Shit 1.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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