I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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