I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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