Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
